It’s a Girl

We have a number of friends who are jumping into the new-parent pool this year. And so lately I’ve been giving them a bit of unsolicited advice: When that baby arrives, don’t forget to take care of yourself, too.

Not that we expect all these new mommies to suffer the slings and arrows of way too many unforeseen postpartum complications, like me. A C-section, breastfeeding difficulties, a gallbladder gone haywire, raging gum disease, and a blown-out lower back? Few new moms get to enjoy all these treats in their first year post-partum, as I have. Lucky, lucky me!

But — and this is a big but — most if not all of the women we know who’ve become moms in the past few years have struggled with physical challenges postpartum. And we’re not just talking sleep deprivation.

We know, for example, at least one other mom who developed the identical gallbladder condition. We know another new mom with the exact same back snafu. Pretty much every new mother complains at some point about achy joints; one mom we know even had to wear braces on her forearms because of the carpal tunnel she developed while lifting her baby boy, and another threw out her shoulder while trying to pretzel her child out of a carrier and into a car seat.

My physical therapist (yes, I have one now) has two small tots of her own, and she reminded me that the hormone high-wire act of pregnancy lingers through breastfeeding. In other words, many of the problems that can develop during pregnancy (you know, things like gum disease, back pain, and gallbladder woes) are caused by hormonal highs, and since breastfeeding keeps those hormones going, your risk of developing those probs doesn’t go away when the baby is born.

Which is probably why I had an easy pregnancy and a rough time afterward.

Very few books or other resources, however, address this issue of mommy care postpartum. Oh, sure, all the new-baby books say things like, “Make sure you get enough sleep!” and “Eat right!” and “Stay fit by going for brisk walks with the baby in the stroller!” But none of them really tell you that, when that baby rolls in the door, all your attention is going to be focused on the kiddo, not on you.

The major maternal complication that has entered our collective consciousness is, of course, postpartum depression. A gazillion books list the warning signs of mental woes, including actress Brooke Shields’ memoir. But physical woes? Well, I’ve found exactly one book that really focuses on the body as well as the mind: the comprehensively titled The Everything Health Guide to Postpartum Care. (It’s also the only book I’ve come across that mentions gallbladder grief as a complication of being gravid.)

So, ladies, I’ll say it again: When that baby arrives, you will hug it and kiss it and call it George — but you’d better not forget to love yourself, too.